Archive for July, 2008

Paparazzi

July 30, 2008

There are many things that confuse me in this world: politics, why people are assholes, chemistry, and the anatomy of a vagina. Another thing that confused me up until recently was why the hell the paparazzi exist, and why do people want to know when the last time was that Britney Spears farted. Then it occured to me that MOST of the people who read these tabloids have failed at life or just need some way to feel better about themselves. So what better way than to stick your nose in some other person’s life, and analyze their every move like it’s your job.

It’s a dirty chain of events. I don’t blame the paparazzi profession, but I do find it to be a rather dirty business that doesn’t need to be dirty. But of COURSE some people are going to take it too far and enter a car chase to catch a snap of a pissed off celebrity. But is it so crazy when they can make thousands for these photos? What’s crazy is that the industry is thriving because people are paying for it. The industry doesn’t survive on it’s own, it’s got a huge market full of people who love to talk shit about everybody that support it.

I randomly decided to write about this because I read an interview with a paparazzi guy in Total Film magazine. He basically made the point that he makes thousands off of pictures because people pay for it. Grow up America (excluding all the grown up and mature Americans of course, you know who you are).

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Judge Judy Ducks and Covers

July 30, 2008

When I was a kid I was babysat a lot by my Grandma. And a lot of that time was spent with her watching TV. The only show I remember the most was Judge Judy. If you haven’t seen or heard of Judge Judy, then you are missing out. I’m not saying you should watch her on a regular basis, but she makes the hardest bitch you know look like Mother Theresa. I may be exaggerating, but the last time I watched her show I was a little kid and she can seem super scary.

NOT TODAY!

Today I found the awesome video of the earthquake in Cali. interrupting her show’s filming. If you watch closely around the 25 second mark, you will see her start to pop up from under her high judge’s seat. I found this to be quite entertaining.

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My “The Dark Knight” Review: Round Two.

July 23, 2008

I finally got to see the Dark Knight for the second time. I am aware it has only been 5 days since the midnight showing, but it could NOT wait. So on take two of watching the movie I decided to pay attention to details that have been brought to my attention that I did not notice before. I also reevaluted the problems I had with the film the first time around. If you haven’t seen the film and for SOME UNHOLY REASON have not heard how freakin’ amazing it is, and you somehow need to be convinced before seeing it. Then read my first review, because I will be getting very nit-picky in this article.

SPOILER ALERT! DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU HAVE SEEN THE DARK KNIGHT!

This is pretty much my analysis of certain parts of the film, and other thoughts as I watched it for the second time:

Opening Scene: The Bank Heist

I love the opening of The Dark Knight. No opening credits, a bat sign coming out of blue flames and BOOM we are in the film. The opening bank heist scene is the best opening that I could have hoped for. It is the perfectly twisted plan to expect from The Joker. He hires everyone and tells them each to kill the other guy so that the shares are bigger, but nobody knows that the other guy was also told to kill a guy. Out of confusion and a perfectly crafted plan, The Joker is revealed to actually be involved in the heist and is the last man standing.

The Parking Garage Scene

This scene is where the problems start, and overall it is a weak scene. The Scarecrow and some mobsters are meeting over a problem with the Scarecrow’s drugs. A copycat Batman steps in and starts shooting people. Not a bad start to the scene. In comes the awesome tank-of-a-Batmobile under remote control. Again, pretty awesome start. So where’s the Bat? He appears in the garage out of the darkness, as usual, and BENDS A GUN BARREL WITH ONE HAND!? I’m no scientist or physicist or geinocologist but I think we can all agree that it takes more than human strength to bend a barrel of a gun in the way it happened in this film. Not only that, but, if Batman actually had super strength, that thug would not be able to hold that gun as Batman bent the barrel. It would just get lifted out of his hands. How did the makers of this film let that one go? I understand expirimenting, but there had to be a point where someone was like, “Wait a minute, that’s fuckin cheesy.”

I did really enjoy the next part when Batman jumped on the side of the van and tried to cut his way in. He failed badly and got slammed into one of the garage’s support pillars, and just to be attacked by a couple of dogs. There was no better or funnier way than to show how he is still not so perfect and very human. But he kicks those pooches asses and jumps off the ledge to land on top of the van that the Scarecrow is escaping in. So then Batman ties him and the copycat Batman up and drives off. THAT’S IT?!

Here’s what I was hoping for: In the movie Face/Off there is a scene in the start of the movie that looks like the ending action sequence in most action films. It just takes the action, emotion, and intensity to the max right off the bat(ha ha). So I was hoping that if they were going to finish off the Scarecrow in the beginning of this movie, make it huge. Have a crazy fight with the Scarecrows poison shit spraying everywhere and give Batman a HUGE run for his money from the start. The dog bites and the slam into the pillar were a good touch on that front, but imagine him high on that Scarecrow angeldust with two dogs on his ass.

Overall, it was a weak ending for Scarecrow and a weak introduction for Batman.

Maggie Gyllenhaal as Rachel Dawes

Don’t worry, it gets positive here.

The first time seeing this film I totally forgot to watch Maggie Gyllenhaal’s performance, and the difference between her and Holmes. I made sure to pay attention this time, and she blew me away. The chemistry she had with Harvey Dent and Bruce Wayne was fantastic and worked so well. She brought a whole new dimension to the character that was not brought out at all from Katie Holmes’s performance. I especially noticed how awesome she was during the interrogation scene with Lau and her last scene in the warehouse rigged with explosives. Great casting choice.

Heath Ledger as The Joker

I won’t get into detail here because the performance speaks for itself. Some of the best parts in the film and the best parts with the Joker are when he is talking. Ledger as The Joker is one of the best performances I have ever seen(TAKE NOTE: I only said the best performance, I PERSONALLY, have seen.) Definitely one of my favorite performances ever. Up there with Daniel Day-Lewis as Daniel Plainview in There Will Be Blood. The real tragedy is that Heath Ledger is not around to receive the praise in person.

Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne/Batman

The first time watching all my attention was on the Joker, but this time I made sure to pay closer attention to Bale and his, no doubt, perfect performance. The performance of Bale as Bruce Wayne is great, because it is actually Christian Bale acting as Bruce Wayne acting as an irresponsible playboy enjoying daddy’s trust fund. The true character of Bruce Wayne is actually Batman. Just like Superman’s costume is Clark Kent, Batman’s costume is “Bruce Wayne The Playboy”.

Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent/Two-Face

There is no other word that comes to mind other than perfect. Watching him from the start of the film, being fresh into the DA position, through his path to madness, becoming (a short-lived) Two-Face, was nothing short of phenomenal and moving. That brings me to my next point:

The Death of Two-Face

As awesome as Eckhart was as Two-Face, I would have liked to see less of him in this film and more of him in another Batman film. If they had left him where he was in that hospital bed, incredibly pissed off and vengeful after having talked to the Joker, then that would have freed up a lot of time. That extra time could have been used to compliment my idea of a bigger demise to the Scarecrow and bigger entrance for Batman in the beginning of the movie. Don’t get me wrong, everytime Two-Face was on screen was still amazing, but he was so underused. The whole scene with Two-Face and Gordon’s family should not have happened. Even after all that happened to Harvey Dent, I think it would have taken a lot more time to drive him crazy enough to want to kill a child. Enough time would be, say, the first two acts of a third Batman movie?

Film Conclusion

After Two-Face is dead on the ground, Batman and Commissioner Gordon exchange some grand speeches. My understanding is that Batman and Gordon have realized that Gotham needs a hero, obviously, but Batman can not be the hero they need…yet. Batman says he will take the blame for the men that Two-Face killed. He has to break his only rule of not killing people, and that makes him The Dark Knight. The savior of Gotham City who has to KILL the bad guys because it’s the only way. Now sticking to that philosophy. All they had to do was have Batman kill the joker. That was a great scene when the Joker and Batman fought it out for the last time. One of my favorite parts in the whole film was Joker falling off of the building. It was just very intense for the short amount of time it happens. And then him talking while hanging upside down was equally intense and a great performance by Ledger. The details of what should have happened next could be up to the film-makers, but ultimately there should have been some last bit of scuffling between the two and then the Joker falls and does NOT get saved. And my opinion on having the Joker die in the end is in NO WAY influenced by the death of Heath Ledger. I think it was in the film maker’s intention to leave the ending with the Joker the way it was before the death of Ledger.

Side Note: I absolutely loved that they saved showing the title, “The Dark Knight”, until the very end of the movie when he truly becomes The Dark Knight.

The Film Kicks Ass

There is no doubt that this is the craziest, darkest, and most awesome comic book movie to hit the screens since Batman Begins. Most of this article seems like a downer on the film, but I am mearly PURPOSELY pointing out the bad parts. I couldn’t write an article on ALL the great parts of this movie because it would be way to long, not to say this one isn’t.

As much as I would like to have seen more Joker in a third movie, I would have been plenty happy with the Joker meeting his death at the hands of THE DARK KNIGHT!

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Where Do We Go From Here?

July 20, 2008

The record labels are dead. We know this and we have known this for quite a few years now. And if you don’t know this then I am telling you…The record labels are dead. Radiohead have ditched them, Trent Reznor and NIN have ditched them, and many artists are skipping them entirely, like this guy Joe Purdy. Ever since I started reading blogs such as Lefsetz Letter and Antiquiet along with countless other writers that I can’t even remember, I have moved more and more into the future of the music world.

I look at myself, and how I function as a fan of music. As a fan I ditched the labels a long time ago and just didn’t know it. I used to save up money so I could buy a CD that I could hardly afford, but I quit that a long time ago. I used to listen to the radio and watch MTV to see who was new and who I should listen to, but I quit that a long time ago. Before I knew it I was becoming the model modern true music fan. I began to use the internet to find tons and tons of music and expand my library from my roots of constantly listening to Blink-182 for six years. It was a change for the better and it was all because the fans of music helped each other out and continue to do so.

Long story short, labels started suing their customers and scared me away for a bit. Then a year ago I came back to the game to see what was up. I learned that the labels rip off the customers AND the artists. And me being a young new artist and a fan, I felt the hit twice as hard when I discovered the information. Like finding out your parents aren’t really your parents. The label hit hard with pussy shots like suing your mother or your dead grandma. They shut down one of the best music trading websites ever and labeled it as a fucking crime syndicate.

Rob at Demonbaby.com wrote a fantastic article, “When Pigs Fly: The Death of Oink, The Birth of Dissent, and A Brief History of Record Industry Suicide”, in October of 2007 that was inspired by the record industry’s latest move to shut down the trading site known as “Oink”. The article spread around the web like herpes on your mom (don’t ask):

If the industry tried to have some kind of compassion – if they said, “we understand that these are just music fans trying to listen to as much music as they can, but we have to protect our assets, and we’re working on an industry-wide solution to accommodate the changing needs of music fans”… Well, it’s too late for that, but it would be encouraging. Instead, they make it sound like they busted a Columbian drug cartel or something. They describe it as a highly-organized piracy ring. Like Oink users were distributing kiddie porn or some shit. The press release says: “This was not a case of friends sharing music for pleasure.” Wh – what?? That’s EXACTLY what it was!

I encourage that you read the entire article HERE.

Over the past year I have been reading and reading and reading the minds of people commentating about the record industry and all their ideas and philosophies. I have soaked up this information and I plan to use it, and soon. The internet is the new music tool, it’s the only one that is still in the fan’s control and let’s hope it stays that way.

I am starting at a new school tomorrow, New England Tech. If I get to meet some guy who is super computer savvy and can make websites with ease and has FUN doing it, and is also a HUGE fan of music, then it’s a dream come true. Because with that kid’s brain and my brain, it’s time to be one of the pioneers of the new music industry. I’m sure there are countless others out there already well on their way, but the more the better.

Where do we go from here?

As fans, keep using the internet to discover and download your favorite music and, more importantly, NEW music. Don’t waste your time listening to the radio or MTV. They don’t let you have the control. In fact, they like to think they are in control of you.

As artists, use the internet to get your music out there. There is no better tool. Free distribution, free marketing, and instant gratification to your fan base(when/if you get one). Don’t waste your time trying to get on the radio or trying to get signed to a label. These 360 Deals are pieces of shit. Use your time to create GOOD music and then INSTANTLY put it up on your website for everyone to take and listen to. Take your time, the money to eat more than once a day will come.

Where do we go from here? I’ll show you.

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My “The Dark Knight” Review

July 20, 2008


4.5 out of 5

The first Christopher Nolan Batman reboot, “Batman Begins”, caught me way off gaurd. That came out before I started paying attention to the movie world through the internet. What started my journey into the online movie world was one website called The Movie Blog. I came across it by chance one day and have been a loyal reader and participator since. Then, on November 17, 2006 came the announcement of The Dark Knight and it’s release date of July 18, 2008. The longest fucking wait of my life.

The first thing I have to say about this movie is that it is ALL ABOUT THE JOKER. The late Heath Ledger’s Joker makes The Dark Knight the fantastic movie it is. I have no idea how the hell he pulled off such a crazy character. Not only that, while the Joker is doing crazy, insane, and twisted shit, you are laughing at him. Every time the Joker was on screen I was getting goosebumps and was excited and could not believe my eyes. In everything that I have seen Heath Ledger in, I would never have guessed he could do something like this. The face I could recognize, but the voice and the way he talked and some of the expressions were things that were too good to be true. The tragedy here is that we Heath Ledger won’t get to receive the praise in person, and we will never see more Joker or any other roles from Ledger.

The story-line is a well written one. They had a lot of characters to deal with in this one and handled mostly all of them very well. Batman/Bruce Wayne, The Joker, Harvey Dent, Comissioner Gordon, and even Alfred all got their equal time on screen. Not too much of anyone. I watched the Siskel and Ebert review for Tim Burton’s first Batman movie and one thing they said was that the Joker routine was so overexposed in the ‘89 film. In “The Dark Knight” we get the Joker in perfect doses. The film is also packed with flawless action and fight sequences and I hope to catch this in IMAX theaters to check them out on that screen. The best scene of all has to be the one we see a bit of in the previews when the Joker is in the interrogation room with Batman. Heath Ledger and Christian Bale get to show off their acting chops in this gritty and riveting scene between Joker and Batman.

The character of Harvey Dent, and eventually Two-Face, is played to perfection by Aaron Eckhart. He was an amazing casting choice that I would never have thought of. The last film I saw him in was “Thank You For Smoking”, which was quite a lighter role than this one, and just like with Ledger I never expected such a dark and moving performance out of a comic book character.

Let’s not forget Christian Bale. His performance is so freaking good and consistent with the last film that nobody will talk about it, because this is the Joker’s film and Christian Bale is doing the great job he is supposed to as Batman.

John Campea over at The Movie Blog posted a great article that makes a great point about the hyper praise of The Dark Knight being compared to The Godfather and other such films:

The Short Version

* The Dark Knight is a great movie
* It’s not even close to being the “darkest” or “Grittiest” or “violent” or “best crime drama” movie ever
* It’s ok to love a movie without the need to make up fake praises and to admit its shortcomings

Read the full article here.

The last bit of the movie did not sit well with me and I did not expect it to end when it did. I can’t really elaborate on it without it being a spoiler so I will leave that for a follow up so EVERYONE can see it first. But do not let that ruin your hopes for this film (assuming you live under a rock and haven’t already seen it). This is a fantastic movie and will go down as one of the BEST COMIC BOOK MOVIES ever. Heath Ledger’s Joker, along with Christian Bale’s Batman, will go down as some of the BEST COMIC BOOK MOVIE CHARACTER PERFORMANCES ever. And Christopher Nolan will go down as THE SAVIOR OF THE BATMAN FILMS.

Get in your fucking Batmobile and go see this.

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Falling Behind

July 15, 2008

I have been falling behind on a few things recently. One being writing on this lovely blog of mine, another being catching movies in theaters when they come out. Here’s what I need to see:

Wanted

I was interested in this movie from the very first trailer, but was very skeptical. Now I’ve heard nothing but that it is better than anyone expected. Short of that anorexic arm on the poster, I can’t wait to see some Angelina Jolie action. Rotten Tomatoes: 72%

Hancock

I am not sure I will rush to catch this one, but if I’ve seen everything else then I will. I still don’t understand it but I always HAVE to see a Will Smith movie. I also don’t understand how the man manages to brand all the films he is in as a “Will Smith Movie”. John Campea of The Movie Blog wrote a great article on that subject titled “Is Will Smith The Only Truly Bankable Movie Star?”. He is just THAT popular. Oh yeah, and the whole superhero thing helps too. Rotten Tomatoes: 37%

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

I somehow missed the release of this until someone told me it was out. I am super pumped to see this, and the monsters and action look great. I almost caught it on last Sunday night but my friend managed to convince me to hang out with him instead, which then turned in to a wasted night. Fucker. Rotten Tomatoes: 88%

I’ve also had to catch up on some reading. I still haven’t finished last month’s issue of Wired, but I may just have to forget about it. I am now reading the July issue of Empire which I don’t know why I haven’t started reading until now. It is the best fucking movie magazine ever, but you already know this. And I also had to catch up on reading the usual blogs I read (check the blogroll). A new Blog I’ve been reading is Seth Godin’s blog. He’s a super smart dude and just another brain for me to pick so I can be super smart.

I should also get to the beach and fix my hardcore farmer’s tan.

I’m going to go eat some B-Fast now. Good Day.

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What Pixar Means to Me, and My “Wall *E” Review

July 8, 2008

3 out of 5
Let me start by saying that Pixar has the best success rate of any studio I can think of. They keep making quality movies and therefore keep churning out a considerable profit for each release under the Pixar name. I am a huge fan of the earlier Pixar movies like Toy Story 1 and 2, Monster’s Inc., and A Bug’s Life. My favorite Pixar movie is The Incredibles for two reasons: Super-heros and it’s funny.

But from Cars and forward I started feeling disappointment with each release. In Cars I wanted more racing and more comedy, but it was mostly just “cute” and “touching”. In Ratatouille I wanted it to be more funny, but again it was mostly “cute” and “inspiring”. When I saw the trailers for Wall *E I got excited for a Pixar space flick, and again I was disappointed.

Now that I just bashed some of Pixar’s most successful films, let me say this: They are not BAD movies, they just personally don’t meet my interests as much as I had hoped they would. Probably because I have been getting older. They are fantastic for kids and that is what Disney and Pixar are really going for, but I can still enjoy Toy Story and Monsters and Incredibles. So why was I so bored with Wall *E?

Again, Wall *E falls into the “Cute” and “touching” categories along with a new trait: there was practically no dialogue. That actually worked really well for the movie, just not for me. Kids will love this movie and girls will love it too. But, to shoot down that “getting older” theory of mine, I loved the Pixar short before Wall *E. Which tells me I can still love Pixar, it’s just a matter of when they make a movie funny enough for me (and kids of course) and touching on a level that I can relate to.

The story is a great one and that is always the Pixar strong point. They can tell a great story. Wall *E is fun to watch as he rolls around and picks things up and either disposes of them or saves them for his house. It is cool to see the robot with a personality. Then life gets disrupted when he meets Eve who came out of a giant spaceship. Eve just flies around for a bit while scanning things and shooting at Wall *E if he makes a sound. They eventually become friends after Wall *E gives her shelter from a storm, and then she discovers a plant in Wall *E’s house and scans it. She basically shuts down after sucking it in to her chest and awaits the mother ship to come pick her up. Wall *E is then taken into space and onto the ship where all the Humans are waiting to be taken back to earth.

This is the part of the movie that woke me up. They show all these humans that have left earth on a ship, who are basically waiting for all the Wall *E units to clean up all their shit so they can go back to earth again. Except what has happened is over the 700 years that humans have been living on the ship, they have become entirely dependent on robots and floating chairs. They slightly evolved to being naturally obese and to having smaller bones. Their meals all come in cups. They also are so focused on talking to friends or surfing the web on their screens in front of their faces that they lose attention to the world around them. If that isn’t a fucking statement about the world we live in today, or at least where most of us are headed, then…fuck it, that’s what it is. (I say this as I type it on my laptop that I will surf the web on for another hour or so after writing this.)

Overall, Wall *E is a great movie that I, personally, am just not that in to. If you loved Cars and Ratatouille then you will love this just as much. But if you are a bigger fan of everything Pixar up until Cars then PLEASE tell me so I’m not so alone in this.

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