My Poor Brain

Gene Simmons has managed to annoy me again, and I don’t even pay attention to the guy. Bob Lefsetz wrote a great article about Simmons’ speech at CMW(Canadian Music Week). You can read that full article here.

Then Simmons proceeded to respond, and sounded like a 12 year old who comments on websites in all capitals and never make any point. Other than calling you lots of stupid names and insulting you because they aren’t smart enough to have a valid response. You can read Simmons’ full response here.

The way Simmons proceeded to respond was by quoting Bob and then writing his own response. Here are some excerpts. (And in case you can’t tell, Simmons is the one typing in all caps because I guess it makes him look really really loud…or something.)

“Gene showed a five minute promotional film that was such an assault, the guy in front of me put his hands over his ears.”

I THINK YOU MISUNDERSTOOD. THAT WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND. AND YOU WERE TALKING TOO LOUD. SHE WANTED TO SEE AND HEAR GENE SIMMONS. NOT YOU.

He does comedy now.

Here’s another nugget of genius from this man:

“Although Gene paid lip service to the Internet, it was like he wanted to jet back to the seventies, when the label was king, when record companies were flush with cash that they’d blow on a bunch of new acts.”

THAT’S TRUE. I WANT RECORD COMPANIES TO BECOME POWERFUL AND FLUSH WITH MONEY AGAIN. I WANT BANDS TO REALIZE THAT ANY ENTITY THAT GIVES THEM MONEY (ADVANCES) AND NEVER FORCES THEM TO PAY THE RECORD COMPANY BACK, WHEN AND IF THEIR RECORD BOMBS (AND THEY ALMOST ALWAYS DO), IS THEIR BEST FRIEND. I KNOW OF NO OTHER BUSINESS THAT GIVES YOU MONEY AND NEVER ASKS FOR IT BACK. EVEN YOUR MOM WILL WANT YOU TO PAY BACK HER LOAN.

Now I don’t know any better. In fact I know much less than Simmons about this business, but I do have interest in making it in this business. What I won’t do is keep wishing for record companies to rip people off again so I can spend all their money and not give something in return, or at the very least pay it back. It doesn’t seem too…ethical.

“I only went because the last couple of times Gene’s spoken he has said some truly heinous things, blasting the audience, that he told us today to respect, for stealing his music. I figured he’d come out with a few clunkers that would crack you up.

But all I got was a damn advertisement.”

THAT’S CORRECT.
I AM ADVERTISING SIMMONS RECORDS. THAT’S WHY I’M UP HERE TALKING ABOUT IT. THIS GUY IS A GENIUS.
AND I STILL CONSIDER FREE DOWNLOADS AND FILE SHARING STEALING. AND I WANT YOU TO PAY FOR MUSIC…AND FOR ANYTHING. IF A BAND WANTS TO GIVE AWAY THEIR STUFF FOR FREE…I HAVE NO PROBLEM. MY ONLY QUESTION IS, HOW DOES THE RECORD COMPANY, WHICH PAID GOOD MONEY UP FRONT, GET ITS MONEY BACK, IF THE MUSIC IS FREE”?

Fuck the Record Company? If they were smart, then they wouldn’t be hiring people they think are the “new Britney” or “new Jonas Brothers”. If they were smart, then they wouldn’t throw truckloads of cash into a bunch of nobodies, and say “Well boys, we’ve got ourselves the next hit sensation.” They would hire a band which has proven themselves to a point where they have a steady fan base and can hold their own. Then, the label throws in some money, the band throws in some money, and they both have equal investments in the new album.

There’s nobody at the record company saying “Well SHEEE-IT, we fucked that one up right? Well let’s get Hannah Montana back in here to pump out another record so we can recover. Oh how’s that proposal for the music industry bail-out coming?”

Instead you have the label and the band working together. Both will fail, or succeed, together.

“It’s like going to a training session for Kirby vacuum salesmen. It’s always interesting to hear how another person made it, but if you want to be successful in the future, you’re better off ignoring everything Gene Simmons has to say.”

THIS STATEMENT MADE BY A GUY WHO’S STILL LIVING IN HIS MOTHER’S BASEMENT.

“Unless, of course, you love money more than music.”

ACTUALLY, I LOVE BOTH MONEY AND MUSIC.

“But since you’re reading this, I doubt that…”

GOOD LUCK TO THIS GUY.
WE LOVE HEARING THE GOOD AND THE BAD.

AND WE HOPE YOU GET OUT OF MOM’S BASEMENT SOON.

Well I guess it was getting really late for Gene, seems he couldn’t quite think of anything else to say.

Quite frankly, I don’t have anything else to say.