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It’s cool.

Last night I am sitting idly at my computer. My phone rings, “Josie” by Blink-182 is the ringtone, and my friend Ian says “RYAN BLINK-182 IS BACK TOGETHER!! TURN ON THE GRAMMY’S”. Now at this moment here’s what went through my head:

1. Ian loves to play pranks.

2. The Grammy’s are on?

3. I am an internet nut and find everything out before everyone else, HOW could i miss this?

So I flip out and turn on my TV to the Grammy’s (thank god the analog signal is still up, I’d have been screwed) and ON my FUCKING TELEVISION is MARK, TOM and FUCKING TRAVIS!

I never got the chance to see Blink-182 on tour, during their prime era of the self-titled album. And now I get to see them on a fucking reunion tour with a new album. HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Sorry, the outbursts will happen. First thoughts are that this new album is going to kick fucking ass, because these guys KNOW there is no way they can afford to screw this up. And they also know that they can afford a LOT now, this will be the most money they have made in their entire career.

I can’t even describe the fucking joy I have right now. I grew up with these guys, and then I moved on and grew up a little. But I’m saying fuck growing up, Blink-182 is back!

I have obviously gone and bought two brand new Blink-182 peices of merch:

“The Wrestler”

The Wrestler is an incredible film. This man lives for his place on the wrestling mats, and every other aspect of his life sucks. But he knows that if he can just hold on until the end of the week, he’ll be able to truly live. This is his life, his passion, he gets torn to bits all week, every week, to jump back in front of his people and live.

His life looks like shit to anyone else. But to him everyone else’s life looks like shit if they aren’t as happy as he is when he is standing on that post. The doctor says wrestling will kill him, wrestling doesn’t pay, wrestling abandoned his daughter, wrestling kept love away, wrestling keeps him alive.

Sometimes dying is the only way to live, I guess.

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Thought of the day:

“That is freaking hott.”

I am quite ashamed of this thought that I had today. I was walking to work and a stunning woman walked by, and that was the first thing that popped in my head. How could I just objectify a woman like that? I immediately corrected myself, and then I continued to think about that.

Lesson of the day:

Don’t pick your nose while peeing. Your peeing apparatus will slip back in your pants mid-pee. You officially piss your pants. You smell like pee.

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I am slowly being reminded of how much shit I have bought over the past two years, and didn’t need.

I’m done with DVD’s, because I’ll just want to replace them all with Blu-Rays or HD-Downloads, whatever comes first. Netflix is awesome. In fact, I won’t be surprised if I stop buying movies for the rest of my life. If Netflix’s online streaming service hits incredible HD quality straight to my digital projector in my home theater (a dream), then I will have no need for the clutter of DVD’s.

I’m done with CD’s. I finally accepted the fact that they are worthless pieces of plastic shit. The music is not shit. The pieces of plastic that have been forced upon us are. I want the music for free, and then I want the artist to sell me a treasure to represent that music i.e. book, vinyl (it’s coming back), t-shirts, posters. I will buy those things if the music warrants it. Instantly all the best bands survive and Gym Class Heroes can disappear forever.

Books and magazines I will find hard to let go of, I probably won’t. I don’t buy many, so the ones I do buy are pretty important.

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Album of the Week:

Emotionalism by The Avett Brothers

I discovered this band by watching Merlin Mann’s “Most Days” videos on Vimeo.com. They are an acoustic band, and I love the fact that I couldn’t put a label to the sound if I tried. Labels (i.e. Rockabilly, Emo-Punk Acoustic, Heavy Metal Bluegrass) need to die, and they are dying thanks to bands like this. They play acoustic instruments and make good songs and that’s all you need to hear from me.

Favorite Songs:
Die Die Die

The Ballad Of Love And Hate

I had two unusually vivid dreams last night. I know I have many dreams, but most of them I don’t recall until I think hard about what they were. But the two dreams I had last night stuck with me.

The first dream was just agonizing to watch. It relates to nothing going on in my life, nor does it take place in any familiar place I have been to. It was a hospital operating room, and a man stepped out of the elevator. He explained that a baby tarantula had gotten into his head. There was a clear hole on his forehead that was bleeding down his face.

The doctors got to work immediately and took a saw to his skull. They sawed off the whole top of his skull and left it on a side table. During the whole process the man on the table was screaming in pain. Then the weirdness started to occur. For no apparent reason the doctor was trying to place a larger skull over his head and had hit his brain. The man screamed even more. Than I blinked and the man’s skin had disappeared and all that was there was a skull. The doctor touched the jaw and the whole top of the skull jerked back and made a horrendous noise that sounded like when someones joints get dislocated. Then I blinked and the man’s face was back, and he was screaming.

Then it got really nuts. His brain simply fell out of his skull and blood dumped out of his head. The man screamed again, and the doctor shoved the brain, which looked like it was filled with liquid, back into his skull.

Then I woke up from complete amazement, and horror, at how vivid and real it all looked. This dream just makes no sense to me. I assume dreams come from your own brain, but I have never seen or heard of anything like this at all. My brain just got bored and wrote and produced a well done horror scene.

The other dream was a very vivid sex dream that lasted for far too short a time, and I will not discuss it. But it involved your mother.

So a couple months ago I realized that I tend to get very creative in the night hours. When things really calm down and the air gets quiet, I can think. I sit down at my desk and write on paper, or type on the computer, or quietly strum the guitar. I get work done while people are ending their day. It feels great.

Then a couple days ago I realized I tend to get very creative in the morning if I jump out of bed. I’ve got so much energy and if I make my creative ventures the first task of the day, they get done quickly and efficiently, and they are good.

So, basically, I have found out that creativity comes when you decide it does. There’s no waiting for when you “feel creative”. There is just waiting for yourself to say “let’s get to work.”

It’s about time I learn this, and start acting on it.

Christmas came, saw, and conquered…and tormented a little…just a little. But I find the moments throughout the day that save it for the memories. I won’t get into some “too much commercialism” rant, but c’mon it’s true and that’s why it is repeated into cliche’ form. I do believe in Christmas gifts though, but I just have one rule: If you don’t know that the person will absolutely love it, and that they will think of you when they look at it, then don’t get it for them.

I’m sure everyone can talk about the onslaught of pointless gifts they receive. Clearly the result of someone who cared more about just getting ANYTHING instead of getting something worthwhile. There were a few people I had in mind when I went shopping, and I ended up getting nothing for some because I would rather not have that scratch on our relationship. When I get my own computer and copy of After Effects, everyone can expect Christmas animations.

In other news, I went to my friend’s aunt’s house on Christmas Eve to see him and his family. They had this DVD playing that was basically 45 minutes or so of a fireplace. Some guy set up a camera, lit a fire, and walked away. Then he came back 45 minutes later and burned it to a DVD, printed a cheap cover, and made money off of old ladies. I thought, “No way more than three people have bought this thing.” I can’t tell you how many times at different places I have seen that thing playing. Mostly different shops, but I’m pretty sure I walked by a house and saw through their window that it was playing on the TV. I can’t believe somebody made money off this.

I can’t wait to see what the competition for this thing is like. I want to meet the guy who says, “HA! You call THAT a fire? You just wait!”. Then I want to meet the old ladies who walk down the “Fireplace DVD” section and decide which to buy. I want to see them read the back of the case for the description, and I want to see the descriptions for a fire. These people worked really hard on theirs.

November was a bad time for me to realize all these things I want to do. I absolutely have the will to do them and plan on carrying them out. But then good ol’ St. Nick reminded me that December is his month, and I have no time to do anything that I want. So instead of being grumpy and what not at not being able to start certain projects, I have accepted the Christmas time and just THINK about my upcoming projects. Keep them busy in my mind.

Since I decided to put off projects until immediately after Christmas, I conveniently have extra time on my hands. Funny Or Die has filled in some awesome time.
Between Two Ferns

I also did a little bit of Christmas shopping and hit up the local Comic shop that is literally a 2 minute walk from my house, literally, literally. I haven’t been in there for years, and thought I would never have time for comics, and then I bought a LOT. I have found a new something to waste time on.

My Dream
I sit around a lot and watch movies, or go on the internet, read magazines, and soon will be reading comics. I plan to keep doing all these things. But I don’t want to become a fat slob doing it. I wish to set up a room that has a large TV/Projection Screen, and a treadmill, maybe some weights for good measure. I hate exercise, however, I have noticed that I can turn such a mundane activity into awesomeness if I just combine with my movie watching/reading/podcast listening etc.

My motivations for doing so are as follows:
1. I love to read comics/magazines/some books, and watch a LOT of movies. But I do not wish to be a fatass.

2. I feel that one day I will be in a situation in which athletic abilities will need to be on my side. Say my town gets overrun by aliens, or crazy people with guns. The people of this town will need a hero. After all of my adventures in my mind from reading comics and watching The Matrix while keeping in tip top shape I am the perfect hero. I would have the stamina of a race horse, or a horny race horse. I just thought of a third reason:

3. I would have the stamina of a race horse….laaaaaadies.

Alright I’m gonna go back to my comic book heroes. (Currently: The Amazing Spider-Man #581)

Winter is here. The snow came down all day and night and covered everything. I was watching Kill Bill Vol.2 and then everything shuts off: no electricity. I looked out the window and see that everyone across the street has lights on. I went outside and it was just my side of the street that was out. I walked a little further and it was just about 20 houses that were out in a small area of town. I figured since it was such a small area that no one would really notice for a while.

I went back inside and my mom had a lantern set up and was knitting. I asked her to grab me a candle and she gave me an open flame, left it up to me to make sure I don’t knock it down. I brought the candle into my room and it set a very sexual mood, so I threw on my iPod, blew out the candle, and went to sleep. I woke up in the morning and the electricity had come back sometime in the night. Otherwise I would have had to go take a shower at my Grandma’s house because there would be no hot water in ours. I guess that support bar would be a plus in hers.

Everyone at work has been on my ass about dressing in Christmas cheer. I grabbed a long sleeve green thermal shirt with the “Famous Stars and Straps” logo on it. I got that shirt last year for Christmas and never felt the need to wear it until this year. Thanks for the gift Mom.

After work I called up Alex and we decided we were going to Wendy’s for some disgusting food. I got to my car in the driveway and shoveled that shit out. Twenty minutes later and my arms hurt, my lungs hurt, and my hands were frozen because I forgot to buy gloves this year. Alex, Ian and I went to Wendy’s and ate disgusting food. I told them I wanted to see “Slumdog Millionaire”, and they aren’t big movie types so I went with me and my movie loving self.

Slumdog Millionaire
The first obvious signs that this movie was going to be good was the entire internet saying so, and the Oscar considerations helped. The second sign was all the people walking out of the 7:00 showing discussing how great it was.

As soon as the movie sets its tone it really gets moving. Every scene was incredibly effective in telling the story and developing the characters in as little time as possible. There are films that are written in a slow paced, moody style, and Slumdog Millionaire is not one. The film covers this boy’s journey through life and covers so much ground in such at such a great pace, yet doesn’t feel rushed in any way. Jamal is the main character who gets to be on the Hindi version of Who Wants To Be a Millionaire. He answers all questions, and has to come back the next night to answer the final question to win 20 Million Rupees. He gets arrested the day before he is supposed to answer the question on suspicion of cheating. No one believes a slum kid can get this far on the show.

This film is not about Who Wants To Be a Millionaire, however. This film is about how you do not need to be a genius to know all the answers, you just need to experience life. It is about remaining true to what you believe in and not giving up. Most of the time Jamal was forced to take action, but there were times that he could have fallen under his bad luck and didn’t. Most of us have a lot more chances to not do anything and less chances to actually do something.

I love seeing films like these. There can be so much junk out that is just meant to keep you distracted from whatever is happening in the world. Just movies that don’t inspire, or deliver a new message, or a new take on an old but important message. These are the films that matter, and I guarantee that half the people I ask about it will say they never heard of it.

The best of everything is never mainstream, you’re going to have to look harder.

For a 20 year old kid like me, it seems the world is spinning right down the fucking toilet. That is what everyone wants me to think and that is what a lot of people believe. They have given up on humanity and are saying fuck it all. They now just watch and point and criticize the world around them as if they have actually tried to fix their own lives.

I am as thrilled as I ever could be. I am glad every time I hear someone my age tell me about how we are all fucked. I love seeing people walk down the street and look at the world around them in disgust. Then they lock themselves up in their house and waste away on countless reality TV shows. Then those same fuckers will talk about how stupid all these people on reality shows are, and then that same night they will submit their ratings by watching. I am glad because for every person that has given up and thinks they are too good to do anything, that is one more person out of my way.

For me, it is mostly the music industry. I will do my best not to preach, as I have not found a solid band yet. But there are so many people throwing in the towel and saying the industry is fucked, and nothing is the same. They are absolutely right: the music industry run by greed and fake pop sensations is completely fucked. What they don’t see is that we, as the new music industry pioneers, are in complete control to do whatever the fuck we want. The old ways don’t work anymore, and we get to re-write the rules. It’s rather simple, whatever any band has done in the last 15 years or so to try to get famous, DON’T do that.

Now to expand beyond the music industry. I think the same goes for a lot of things. The rules are all changing. Forget anything your parents told you about how things work in the world. They might tell you money is the most important, but it’s not. As we can tell by our government rewarding the greedy pigs who fucked up, and by doing that they are punishing the smaller honest corporations. A big house isn’t important. All your shit is not important, forget about owning all you can. It’s about time we all give back to the collective mind of this world. Question everything you are told, think outside of the facts that are presented to you by the people who manipulated them in the first place. Figure things out for yourself and stop taking everything that is being forced into your mind.

The more we all think about what is good for all of us as a whole, the better the world around us will get. It’s safe to say that many have given up already, and all they care about is themselves, and pointing fingers at everyone else for their own problems. I see way too often people just talking and talking about the most insignificant of problems, just constant bitching. It probably makes them feel like they are doing something. All I can say is shut the fuck up and do something relevant. If you are going to talk, it better be a good cause, and it better be followed by some action.

FUCK I have to get sugar at the grocery store for Thanksgiving dinner!!!! This is such BULLSHIT! What is the world coming to!?