Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

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I Hope You Have A Nice Day

November 24, 2008

Christmas is coming and millions of people in the U.S. will smile and say “I LOVE IT!” to absolutely dreadful gifts that they absolutely hate. Save your money. Make something, and do it for the few. Put some work into something, and you will find much more realistic expression of human emotion and gratitude.

People talk to each other every day, and 50% of those conversations are bullshit.

In Bullshit Conversation:

There is always something that one person wants to say to another, but doesn’t. There is always something that one person did, and doesn’t want the other person to know. There are things that each person hates about the other, and they will never share that.

One person talks just to talk and keep pretending things are comfortable, and the other person smiles and nods and thinks to themselves, “What a cockbag”.

A day in the life of a regular bullshitter:
You walk to your car and wave hello to your friendly neighbor. Then you think, “That guy is a real prick.” You stop at the store and smile at your clerk, and say, “Have a nice day!”, then you walk away and think, “God, she was ugly.” You go to work and wish each and every customer a great day. Then you turn to your co-workers and say “Did you see how FAT she was?”. You leave work, not before picking up your paycheck and saying “Thank you” to your boss. You walk out the door and think, “You old greedy bastard.” You drive over to your friendly neighbors house and fuck his wife. Then you go home and welcome your wife with a kiss and an “I Love You.”

50% of everyday conversation is bullshit. 75% of people are full of shit.

I had a great, wide-open, honest and fulfilling conversation the other day. That’s all I could ask for.

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A New Day

November 10, 2008

A new day is coming. A day of constant flow of wonders of words and pictures and movies. A day of constant change. A day of learning, and a day of breaking down and building up again. A wonderful day it will be.

Translation:

I am going to get off my writing ass and start getting these blog motors turning. So sorry to my dedicated few who I KNOW for a fact check this blog everyday. And even though that is not a fact it will keep me driven.

Laters.

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Honesty and Ebay Adventures

September 23, 2008

Today I gave a presentation of my business plan that I started working on a week before it was due. What’s really awesome about it is I truly love the idea I have. I won’t share it with you because it’s not important and I don’t want you to steal it. I gave a powerpoint presentation. Which is WAY beyond the requirements of what I needed to do for a introductory business course that everyone is required to take for a non-business major. But otherwise I would have gotten lost, like always, and trailed on for 20 minutes. I don’t THINK I talked for that long but I wasn’t keeping track.

There were two other presentations that interested me greatly, if not because the other ones sucked, then because they were really good. They were both automotive businesses. One was specializing in tuning Japanese Import cars. They seemed to know a good deal about the subject, so why not do it. The other business focused on Offroad Vehicles. This presenter also seemed like he knew a great deal of his subject.

What fascinated me was when we all pulled out of the parking lot, I heard a nice sounding engine that was probably from an import tuned car. And lo’ and behold, it was the kid who presented the plan for an import tuning shop. Then, right behind that car was a jeep with a nice set of tires on it, and it was covered in mud. And what do ya know, it was the kid who presented the plan for offroad vehicle tuning.

Seeing that showed me an awesome double whammy of “practice what you preach”. I guess where I am taking this is to a cheesy place, and I’m going to say that it inspired me that much more to do just that: Practice what I preach.

———————————————

I joined ebay.com for the first time today (I know, I am WAAAAAAY behind the curve). I am trying to get a Canon GL1 and I am having a frustrating ass time in my first every “ebay bidding war”. There are a few different cameras up for sale. I was the high bidder on one for a bit, but then all these other ones started popping up and I thought I may want a different one. But if you are an ebay user, you know that once you bid and win, IT’S YOURS! I was outbid and I am now bidding on one that looks better. My limit has gone from 400, then to 500, now I’m at 600. But 600 is my ABSOLUTE limit.

This is fun. I’ll let you know how I do….who the fuck am I talking to?

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You Get What You Pay For: My Input

September 2, 2008

I found myself reading Seth Godin’s blog when he was constantly referenced by Matt Mason and Bob Lefsetz: two people I read on a daily basis. Seth’s blog, and all his books, seem to concentrate on marketing which is something I never thought I would be reading. But the guy is intelligent, and I love to hear smart people talk (in this case, read). I may not be able to apply his knowledge to the business and marketing world, but his words expand beyond to much more. His words expand to the life of a 20 year old college student who is headed to the land of the unknown, and needs all the advice he can get.

Seth Godin’s recent entry, “You Get What You Pay For”, is one of those entries that gives knowledge that I can take anywhere. Since he has perfected the art of “less is more”, I will quote the whole entry:

If you don’t want spam in your inbox, never respond, never buy anything. Not even if it’s a good deal.

If you don’t like TV commercials featuring loud aggressive announcers, don’t buy what they’re selling. Ever.

If you don’t want people ringing your door asking for donations, don’t give, no matter what.

If you think politics is too nasty and not focused enough on creating value, then don’t donate to a candidate that’s nasty, even if you agree (and even better, call or write and tell them why).

If you don’t like bait and switch marketing, where promises don’t match the product, don’t buy it.

If you don’t like snarky, angry blogs, don’t read them.

If you deplore the lousy service at big chains or certain airlines, don’t shop there, even if it’s cheaper.

There’s a new asymmetry, with loud consumers able to connect and actually have an impact.

We’re all hypocrites, and we get what we pay for. The market is astonishingly quick at responding to what consumers do (and incredibly slow at reacting to what we say).

See what I mean about the whole marketing take on things? No worries, he is a genius, I promise.

I am now going to continue with the if/then formula that Seth Godin has gone with on this particular entry.

Here it goes:

If you don’t want to pay five dollars per gallon of gas, then don’t drive 85 on the highways. The more gas you burn away, the more gas you buy, the more they win.

If you can’t NOT answer your cell phone, then don’t go to the movies.

If you don’t like to be disrespected, then stop calling people “dumb-ass”.

If you don’t like spit in your food, then don’t yell at the waitress about the undercooked steak that was cooked by the COOK.

If you don’t want to be hated by your customers, then stop suing/arresting them.

If you don’t like herpes, then stop having sex.

If you don’t like lazy people, then get off your ass.

If you like your nightlife, then don’t have kids.

If you think you know everything, then don’t ask anyone for help.

If you help people out, then people will help you out.

If people tell you your big dreams are stupid, then pursue those dreams. They are the people that allow you to succeed.

If you love someone, then don’t give up on them.

If you love life, then life will love you back.

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Paparazzi

July 30, 2008

There are many things that confuse me in this world: politics, why people are assholes, chemistry, and the anatomy of a vagina. Another thing that confused me up until recently was why the hell the paparazzi exist, and why do people want to know when the last time was that Britney Spears farted. Then it occured to me that MOST of the people who read these tabloids have failed at life or just need some way to feel better about themselves. So what better way than to stick your nose in some other person’s life, and analyze their every move like it’s your job.

It’s a dirty chain of events. I don’t blame the paparazzi profession, but I do find it to be a rather dirty business that doesn’t need to be dirty. But of COURSE some people are going to take it too far and enter a car chase to catch a snap of a pissed off celebrity. But is it so crazy when they can make thousands for these photos? What’s crazy is that the industry is thriving because people are paying for it. The industry doesn’t survive on it’s own, it’s got a huge market full of people who love to talk shit about everybody that support it.

I randomly decided to write about this because I read an interview with a paparazzi guy in Total Film magazine. He basically made the point that he makes thousands off of pictures because people pay for it. Grow up America (excluding all the grown up and mature Americans of course, you know who you are).

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Falling Behind

July 15, 2008

I have been falling behind on a few things recently. One being writing on this lovely blog of mine, another being catching movies in theaters when they come out. Here’s what I need to see:

Wanted

I was interested in this movie from the very first trailer, but was very skeptical. Now I’ve heard nothing but that it is better than anyone expected. Short of that anorexic arm on the poster, I can’t wait to see some Angelina Jolie action. Rotten Tomatoes: 72%

Hancock

I am not sure I will rush to catch this one, but if I’ve seen everything else then I will. I still don’t understand it but I always HAVE to see a Will Smith movie. I also don’t understand how the man manages to brand all the films he is in as a “Will Smith Movie”. John Campea of The Movie Blog wrote a great article on that subject titled “Is Will Smith The Only Truly Bankable Movie Star?”. He is just THAT popular. Oh yeah, and the whole superhero thing helps too. Rotten Tomatoes: 37%

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

I somehow missed the release of this until someone told me it was out. I am super pumped to see this, and the monsters and action look great. I almost caught it on last Sunday night but my friend managed to convince me to hang out with him instead, which then turned in to a wasted night. Fucker. Rotten Tomatoes: 88%

I’ve also had to catch up on some reading. I still haven’t finished last month’s issue of Wired, but I may just have to forget about it. I am now reading the July issue of Empire which I don’t know why I haven’t started reading until now. It is the best fucking movie magazine ever, but you already know this. And I also had to catch up on reading the usual blogs I read (check the blogroll). A new Blog I’ve been reading is Seth Godin’s blog. He’s a super smart dude and just another brain for me to pick so I can be super smart.

I should also get to the beach and fix my hardcore farmer’s tan.

I’m going to go eat some B-Fast now. Good Day.

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George Carlin. I’ll Miss That Guy.

June 23, 2008

From The Associated Press:

Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television. Some People Are Stupid. Stuff. People I Can Do Without. George Carlin, who died of heart failure Sunday at 71, leaves behind not only a series of memorable routines, but a legal legacy: His most celebrated monologue, a frantic, informed riff on those infamous seven words, led to a Supreme Court decision on broadcasting offensive language.

The counterculture hero’s jokes also targeted things such as misplaced shame, religious hypocrisy and linguistic quirks – why, he asked, do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

Carlin, who had a history of heart trouble, went into St. John’s Health Center in Santa Monica on Sunday afternoon complaining of chest pain and died later that evening, said his publicist, Jeff Abraham. He had performed as recently as last weekend at the Orleans Casino and Hotel in Las Vegas.

“He was a genius and I will miss him dearly,” Jack Burns, who was the other half of a comedy duo with Carlin in the early 1960s, told The Associated Press.

I think I first saw George on an HBO special that I was probably too young at the time to be watching. He instantly became one of my favorite comedians. I also loved him when he started appearing in Kevin Smith films as a hitch-hiker offering blow jobs in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and then as the father of Ben Affleck in Jersey Girl.

I worked at this seafood restaurant for my four years in high school and one of the cooks there, aptly named George, was like a carbon copy of Carlin. He looked like him and he talked like him and he was just as funny and profane as him. I loved going to work to hear what the guy would say next, it was like going to a comedy show instead of work.

George Carlin was scheduled to play a gig in my town sometime soon and I planned on sitting outside the tent to listen, because I couldn’t afford the tickets. I will always be glad that he was around and it is a sad day to see him go.

On that note, here’s George:

I propose a toast:

Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cock sucker, mother fucker, tits, fart, turd and tuat. Thanks for the insight George, and goodbye.

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Where is my ass?

June 15, 2008

What a misleading title.

I have missed out on writing for the past month and that upsets me greatly. Actually it doesn’t, it just means I have a lot of writing to catch up on. But here’s what I’ve been up to.

Summer has snuck up on us and I finally decided to take back my love for the beach this year. I grew up on the beaches of Newport, quite literally, and then as I got busier and busier with work I stopped going for the past few summers. So I am finally hitting the beach every time I see the tide rise up the shore and the waves start crashing hard(for Newport anyway). I bought a skim board also and have been riding that baby. I may not surf at all but I know I can skim in an inch of water and go SUPER fast, like lightning.

My good ol’ pal, Ian, has been working on his rock opera all year called Eternal Child. I helped him record a little bit in the studio and have been practicing his songs awaiting the big performance this coming Friday. It has turned out amazing and I am super proud of his musical AND story’s achievement. It is something that I have never come close to because I pull all the excuses of a job and an education out of my ass to put off that stuff that I really love. Ian has found a way to so FUCK school and FUCK work to do that stuff, and I applaud him.

So now what I have decided to do is, not say “fuck it all”, but just use what I have. I don’t have full access to a band all the time and I am convinced that me and Ian have two huge musical visions that would currently clash at the moment. I have a computer, I have guitars, and I have a set of headphones. Living in an apartment means no loud music, so I’m going to start my musical journey through a set of headphones (a damn good set of $200 Bose headphones) and pre-programmed drum beats off of Garageband. My plan is to be a one man band (for now) and just make the music that I’ve been creating in my head all this time, but never put down on paper or guitar.

I just got a boner thinking about it.

Bye Bye,

-Ryan

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Celebrating 20 Years of Freedom from the Uterus…

May 16, 2008

…and 13 years sober from breast milk.

It is now 11:59 pm and my 20th Birthday is coming to an end….aaand its gone.

In the past few years I have always managed to fuck shit up right before my birthday and have left everyone mad at me just so my mom can force them to show up to a surprise birthday party that NO ONE wants to be at. Oh the memories.

All I can say is that THIS has been the most amazing Birthday I have had in years and It wouldn’t have been so without everyone…you.

It started off like a traditional birthday. My mother waking me up at 7 AM to sing while I grunt and turn away to go back to sleep. Then I got to work and was greeted with many Birthday wishes from the Goodies crew. Only to be one-upped by a balloon in the Ice-Cream side. Only to be one-upped by a note in my locker to look in the other locker and got a donut.

After work I ran over to the party house and was immediately hazed and had markers shoved up my butt…wait that was yesterday. Today I walked in to find a cake with a picture of me doing a form of mating-call-dance-art. I then received a Speed Racer Mach 5 and a Jane Austen Biography with a RACONTEURS CONCERT TICKET INSIDE!! (i will post a video soon explaining the unexplainable Jane Austen Biography)

And thank you to everyone far and near for sending me a Birthday Wish on this facebook wall of mine. I will never forget this. Time to go jerk off with my tears of happiness.

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“The Glass Managerie”

May 6, 2008

Last weekend I took part in a small production of “The Glass Managerie” at my school. I did the lights and sound. I have always had an interest in backstage work and still do. When the play “The Glass Managerie” was chosen I had no reaction because I didn’t know what it was. When we did the first read-through I was incredibly bored with it. I even saw the movie but couldn’t watch the whole thing without being bored to death. When it came to the actual performances, I began to finally see it in a new light.

The cast and setting are pretty simple: a mother and her son and daughter live in a small New York City apartment in some early decade. The son, Tom, is the only one with a job and is paying the rent and bills for the apartment that his family lives in. The daughter, Laura, is somewhat crippled and has lived a sheltered and awkward life so far. The mother, Amanda, is an old woman abandoned by her husband and is always on the case of Tom.

That was all I saw in the play: just those three people talking until one night a visitor comes and he just talks a lot and leaves. After repeat viewings and practices I finally saw some great significances in the story, mostly relating to Tom. I also find my mother to be slightly similar to the mother in the play.

Tom was trapped in his situation: he was forced to pay the bills and do so by working in a lousy warehouse. He had no room to move ahead with his dreams or anything. He also couldn’t just abandon his mother and sister, so he chose to be grumpy all the time. The play happens around the point where he finally has had enough and blows up on his mother. While most of the play dragged on, it was the major parts that stuck out to me: Tom was stuck, Laura was even worse off with her shy qualities and low self-esteem, and Amanda was crazy.

Clearly I can’t relate or figure out Amanda in any way. I just find her annoying, but I know there is something deeper there. Laura just doesn’t seem to have anything going for her, and she doesn’t help the issue at all by being shy and whatnot. Tom has the most going for him quality-wise, but is tied down by the responsibility for his family.

What makes me love Tom even more is that the performance by my friend was utterly amazing. Overall I enjoyed it in the production in the end and had fun with my friends. This is a lousy conclusion and I apologize but…

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