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April 19, 2009Watchmen
March 6, 2009
Words cannot do Watchmen justice. Watchmen is an epic brutal (near) masterpiece. At a running time of 2hrs 40mins, I could have gone for more, and from the sound of things the DVD release will be about 3 hours. As the film opens on the event that sets the story into motion: The death of the Comedian, one word was going through my mind as it unfolded: Brutal. The fights were incredibly performed and incredibly filmed. The Comedian is physically huge and that required watching from a sort of distance, and it was incredible. Instead of using the “let’s shake the camera a lot to look intense” method, they perfected the fights and let us watch every move. A fantastic start.
One word that people were using to describe why this movie couldn’t work is “complicated”. But I followed the story very well, and I haven’t read the book yet (I’ll explain why in a minute). There was one exception to this however, when a major event was discovered by one of the characters. I had no idea what he was looking at and had to wait to figure out what he found, even thought they tried to show it initially. That was only one of a few drop points in the movie that took me out a bit.
I didn’t read the book beforehand because I wanted to be surprised while watching the movie. If the story was as good as they say it is, I wanted to see it on the screen first, then read the book. Doing it that way can only mean it will be better. I caught the midnight showing which was awesome. Even the 3am ride home. I will be picking up the book and reading it entirely, and then go see Watchmen in the IMAX. The theater I saw it in was decent, but the sound wasn’t that great. Some people say they don’t see the point in IMAX unless it was shot for the IMAX (i.e. certain Dark Knight scenes, and Transformers 2), but the sound in the IMAX is also way better than any theater.
The film was obvioulsy very dark in nature, and in that way I felt closer to it than any other superhero movie. Life is fucked up, and life in Watchmen was REALLY fucked up. So somehow that had a very emotional appeal. I loved Dr. Manhattan. He was forced into being the way he was through an accident, and over time lost his humanity, and started to not care about people at all. If you feel like you are really awesome and everyone around you sucks, to the point it depresses you, then Dr. Manhattan is the role model for you.
Rorschach was really awesome. You could say he was the “Batman” of the film because of the similarities in the voice, but this guy makes Batman look like the nice guy. Oh yeah, and Rorschach kills the bad guys. He’s not fuckin around. Rorschach has had it up to HERE with the scum of the city, not just the murderers and rapists, but people who…have sex and stuff (I REALLY have to read that book).
The opening credits, with “The Times They Are A-Changin’” playing, was a major major major highlight for me. The way it was put together was just fantastic. I love segments like that, they are like another movie in a movie. I was MOST impressed with the incredibly accurate re-enactment of the assassination of JFK.
There was a couple parts in the last third of the film that totally pulled me out of the movie. The dialogue all of a sudden started to suck, and the story went very formulaic, but it quickly changed and I was right back in it. So it is very negligible at this point. Another thing that I questioned briefly was the music choices, but I understood why they did that and it didn’t distract me a whole lot. It was mostly popular music from the eras the were showing. There was some disco music for the 1970’s, and then some music from that Dustin Hoffman movie for the funeral. My favorite use of music was the rendition of Hallelujah during the fuck scene (the term “sex” is too light for what we saw), and then the organ tunes during the telling of the tragedy of Dr. Manhattan.
I am still amazed at how long this film was, and how much the length didn’t bother me. It could have been a five hour film, and as long as it was good, I would have watched it all. Their was a TON of awesome lines, most thanks to the graphic novel obviously, and the fight scenes were the best I’ve seen in a long time. Fucking brutal violence. It makes things very real when you go that far, and it pulls you in THAT much more. All the actors ranged from decent to brilliant, and you can’t ask for more from a cast of unknowns. The fact they are, for the most part, unknowns makes the movie that much better. They ARE those characters to you.
Zack Snyder is officially the coolest director in my world right now. I can’t wait to see what he does next.
I suggest you see this movie more than once. At least twice: The first time, stare at Dr. Manhattan’s penis every time it is on screen. That floppy blue penis will be calling your attention the whole time and if you try to avoid it, you will lose concentration on the slightly more important aspects of the film. By the time you see it again, you will have hopefully gotten rid of the urge to watch that thing flop around when he walks, and pay attention. Fuck it, go see it a third time JUST for all the nudity: Silk Spectre’s boobs, Night Owl’s ass cheeks, and the immortal floppy blue penis of Dr. Manhattan.
Dying for Living, That Is Hott.
January 25, 2009“The Wrestler”
The Wrestler is an incredible film. This man lives for his place on the wrestling mats, and every other aspect of his life sucks. But he knows that if he can just hold on until the end of the week, he’ll be able to truly live. This is his life, his passion, he gets torn to bits all week, every week, to jump back in front of his people and live.
His life looks like shit to anyone else. But to him everyone else’s life looks like shit if they aren’t as happy as he is when he is standing on that post. The doctor says wrestling will kill him, wrestling doesn’t pay, wrestling abandoned his daughter, wrestling kept love away, wrestling keeps him alive.
Sometimes dying is the only way to live, I guess.
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Thought of the day:
“That is freaking hott.”
I am quite ashamed of this thought that I had today. I was walking to work and a stunning woman walked by, and that was the first thing that popped in my head. How could I just objectify a woman like that? I immediately corrected myself, and then I continued to think about that.
Die Die Die
January 23, 2009Lesson of the day:
Don’t pick your nose while peeing. Your peeing apparatus will slip back in your pants mid-pee. You officially piss your pants. You smell like pee.
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I am slowly being reminded of how much shit I have bought over the past two years, and didn’t need.
I’m done with DVD’s, because I’ll just want to replace them all with Blu-Rays or HD-Downloads, whatever comes first. Netflix is awesome. In fact, I won’t be surprised if I stop buying movies for the rest of my life. If Netflix’s online streaming service hits incredible HD quality straight to my digital projector in my home theater (a dream), then I will have no need for the clutter of DVD’s.
I’m done with CD’s. I finally accepted the fact that they are worthless pieces of plastic shit. The music is not shit. The pieces of plastic that have been forced upon us are. I want the music for free, and then I want the artist to sell me a treasure to represent that music i.e. book, vinyl (it’s coming back), t-shirts, posters. I will buy those things if the music warrants it. Instantly all the best bands survive and Gym Class Heroes can disappear forever.
Books and magazines I will find hard to let go of, I probably won’t. I don’t buy many, so the ones I do buy are pretty important.
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Album of the Week:
Emotionalism by The Avett Brothers
I discovered this band by watching Merlin Mann’s “Most Days” videos on Vimeo.com. They are an acoustic band, and I love the fact that I couldn’t put a label to the sound if I tried. Labels (i.e. Rockabilly, Emo-Punk Acoustic, Heavy Metal Bluegrass) need to die, and they are dying thanks to bands like this. They play acoustic instruments and make good songs and that’s all you need to hear from me.
Favorite Songs:
Die Die Die
The Ballad Of Love And Hate
Get Off My Lawn
January 10, 2009
I went to see a movie tonight. The process I went through to decide between The Reader and Gran Torino went something like this: The Reader is about a woman, and Gran Torino is about a grumpy old man. I feel like a grumpy old man right now, Gran Torino it is.
I don’t know if Clint Eastwood set out to make a comedy, but he just made a heck of a dark (racist) comedy.
Walt Kowalski (Clint Eastwood) tells a joke:
A Jew, a Mexican, and a Gook walk in to a bar. The bartender says, “Get the fuck out!”
Walt then laughs his ass off.
If you are feeling grumpy, then, surprisingly, this movie about a grumpy guy will leave you happy and inspired. It does cover serious themes, most obvious: Life and Death. The life of Thao: Walt’s neighbor that becomes Walt’s apprentice of sorts, and the approaching death of Walt: A Korean War veteran approaching the end of his life.
The title, Gran Torino, comes from Walt’s prized Ford Gran Torino. As part of an initiation into a gang, Thao tries to steal it. He gets caught by Walt, and Thao’s family insists he repay a debt to Walt and work for him. Walt eventually takes him under his wing and helps him on the path to become a man. Thao had previously grown up without a role model or father figure.
This is a great film, and something that Clint Eastwood should be proud of in retirement.
I also recommend that nobody eat an abundance of Taco Bell prior to sitting for 90 minutes.
You Won’t Find Me
December 21, 2008Winter is here. The snow came down all day and night and covered everything. I was watching Kill Bill Vol.2 and then everything shuts off: no electricity. I looked out the window and see that everyone across the street has lights on. I went outside and it was just my side of the street that was out. I walked a little further and it was just about 20 houses that were out in a small area of town. I figured since it was such a small area that no one would really notice for a while.
I went back inside and my mom had a lantern set up and was knitting. I asked her to grab me a candle and she gave me an open flame, left it up to me to make sure I don’t knock it down. I brought the candle into my room and it set a very sexual mood, so I threw on my iPod, blew out the candle, and went to sleep. I woke up in the morning and the electricity had come back sometime in the night. Otherwise I would have had to go take a shower at my Grandma’s house because there would be no hot water in ours. I guess that support bar would be a plus in hers.
Everyone at work has been on my ass about dressing in Christmas cheer. I grabbed a long sleeve green thermal shirt with the “Famous Stars and Straps” logo on it. I got that shirt last year for Christmas and never felt the need to wear it until this year. Thanks for the gift Mom.
After work I called up Alex and we decided we were going to Wendy’s for some disgusting food. I got to my car in the driveway and shoveled that shit out. Twenty minutes later and my arms hurt, my lungs hurt, and my hands were frozen because I forgot to buy gloves this year. Alex, Ian and I went to Wendy’s and ate disgusting food. I told them I wanted to see “Slumdog Millionaire”, and they aren’t big movie types so I went with me and my movie loving self.
Slumdog Millionaire
The first obvious signs that this movie was going to be good was the entire internet saying so, and the Oscar considerations helped. The second sign was all the people walking out of the 7:00 showing discussing how great it was.
As soon as the movie sets its tone it really gets moving. Every scene was incredibly effective in telling the story and developing the characters in as little time as possible. There are films that are written in a slow paced, moody style, and Slumdog Millionaire is not one. The film covers this boy’s journey through life and covers so much ground in such at such a great pace, yet doesn’t feel rushed in any way. Jamal is the main character who gets to be on the Hindi version of Who Wants To Be a Millionaire. He answers all questions, and has to come back the next night to answer the final question to win 20 Million Rupees. He gets arrested the day before he is supposed to answer the question on suspicion of cheating. No one believes a slum kid can get this far on the show.
This film is not about Who Wants To Be a Millionaire, however. This film is about how you do not need to be a genius to know all the answers, you just need to experience life. It is about remaining true to what you believe in and not giving up. Most of the time Jamal was forced to take action, but there were times that he could have fallen under his bad luck and didn’t. Most of us have a lot more chances to not do anything and less chances to actually do something.
I love seeing films like these. There can be so much junk out that is just meant to keep you distracted from whatever is happening in the world. Just movies that don’t inspire, or deliver a new message, or a new take on an old but important message. These are the films that matter, and I guarantee that half the people I ask about it will say they never heard of it.
The best of everything is never mainstream, you’re going to have to look harder.
My “Quantum of Solace” Review
November 14, 2008
When I saw Casino Royale I fucking hated it. It was completely different than any other James Bond movie. It didn’t make sense that M was played by Judi Dench when it was supposed to be Bond’s first mission. I hated that the main focus of the movie was a fucking card game. And I wasn’t sure if I even liked Daniel Craig.
Then I watched Casino Royale again a few months later and fucking loved it. It was completely different than any other James Bond movie. M was played by Judi Dench, but it was considered a reboot a.k.a. we do whatever the fuck we want. The card game made sense, and it was less about the cards and more about the players. And the story was pretty good once I understood it.
I had no doubts going into Quantum of Solace that it was going to kick ass. And right from the start it does. The highlight of this movie is no doubt the action, and without making the story suffer. Being a sequel played well in it’s favor also. This way there was no extra explaining to do, we knew where we left off. Le Chiffre, working for a large organization, was killed by Mr. White who works for the same organization. Vesper, Bond’s love interest, betrays him and gives the money to Mr. White. She drowns and Bond hunts down Mr. White and shoots him in the leg. Quantum of Solace picks up immediately after that point.
I found the story in this movie to be a little easier to follow than Royale’s. It is half a revenge story and half a spy adventure story. IMDB Plot Summary. It was written by a few people, one of which is Paul Haggis who’s work I admire. Quantum was empty of any quips that have made Bond so famous in the past, and I don’t see that as a bad thing. This is a very serious Bond and I think it worked very well for this episode. If you consider this film to be a part of Bond’s entire career, then you can see it is a dark time for him. A lot of complaints have been that it is too dark, but the story calls for it. I won’t be surprised or put off to see some of that cheeky dialogue of his back in the next film.
Dominic Greene was the main villain in Quantum. He tied together the paths of Bond and the new Bond girl, Camille. Camille was out for revenge on a man who killed her family when she was a child, and Greene was doing business with the man. Bond was following the organization and Greene was his major lead. Bond and Camille had similar motives and worked together to get to Greene.
Daniel Craig was just fine as Bond. I don’t see him as the “BEST BOND EVER!” as some have surely said, but he is definitely not bad. I have to see him make a couple more movies to consider him for that title. Olga Kurylenko as Camille was very good. She is at the absolute beginning of her career, and this should give her a good leg up to stardom. The rest of the cast was also well performed. There were no over the top villainous performances that you may find past Bond films, it was all very real performances, and very realistic motives.
I was not the least bit disappointed by Quantum Of Solace. It delivered through and through.
The only bad part of this movie was the theme song that was completely created by Jack White. I still remain a huge Jack White fan, but this was just an awful mistake hooking up with Alicia Keys. She is great on her own, and he is great on his own, but together it just didn’t work right.
I give Quantum of Solace an 8 out of 10.
New Watchmen Trailer
November 14, 2008
The New Watchmen Traileris out and it is, unsurprisingly, phenomenal. We get to see some more footage that wasn’t in the original teaser such as The Comedian getting tossed out the window (so far it sounds like I actually read the comic…it’s on my to-do list). My eyes widened and my jaw dropped about a third of the way in when Muse’s “Take a Bow” started to play. An absolutely PERFECT song for this movie. I always felt heroic listening to that song, and when i finally read the comic I will probably play Muse in the background.
I’m going to see “Quantum of Solace” today and I’m hoping they show this trailer with it. I will be back later to write that review. So go watch the new Watchmen Trailer.
My “Zack and Miri Make A Porno” Review
November 2, 2008
There are movies that I want to see. There are movies that I anticipate a week or two prior theatrical release. Then there are movies that I hear about from the conception of the idea and wait months, maybe a year, or maybe years until it is released. Such a movie is any Kevin Smith movie. The last one of his that I had the joy of torturing myself with the wait was Clerks 2. And now we have “Zack and Miri Make A Porno”. Not only was I anticipating it because it was a Kevin Smith movie, or it had “porno” in the title, it was also because of Seth Rogen. I have been a Seth Rogen fan from day one of him being on screen with the Apatow bunch. So yeah, “Zack and Miri Make A Porno” was all kinds of goodness.
I’ll get the obvious stuff out of the way. The dialogue penned by Smith is untouchable, hilarious, and downright filthy. Seth Rogen’s presence only adds completely to it. Where Smith’s films shine is all the in between dialogue. If the two characters are on screen discussing a plot point that keeps the story moving, then you are laughing your ass off at all the other stuff they are saying. What is also so amazing is that the story is JUST as great as the in between. Smith doesn’t let his story take the back seat to his jokes, the story is in the front seat going right along with them (random metaphor). Now you may look at the title and say, “Well really, how far can you go with the story that is clearly spelled out in the title”. And I say, “NAY! You ignorant pig!”. If the story was truly spelled out in the title it would be “Zack and Miri Make a Porno, and, In The Process, Realize That It Might Be More Than Just Sex”. The actual title is a lot cooler though.
I was thrilled at the fact that this was a movie outside of the Askewniverse (i.e. Jay and Silent Bob-iverse). I walked out of the film calling it a “new breed” of Kevin Smith films. Then my friend asked me in reply, “Oh it’s not a feel good film like the rest of his others?”. To which I said, “Yes, it is.” So I take it back, it is NOT a new breed. But it is just joining the rest of the breed (another random metaphor?).
The supporting cast he picked up for this was amazing. No doubt was there Jason Mewes, for once NOT playing a stoner with long hair, but playing a horny man with a long penis. Justin Long was hilarious as a male porn star/porn director/porn distributor. And the guy who played his boyfriend was just super, man. Craig Robinson of “The Office” fame was also hilarious as the “producer” of the porno. And there is not enough to say about Elizabeth Banks. I just saw her in “W.”, and now this. She is very talented, very funny, and very hot.
This film is very funny, but even I can admit it is not Smith’s funniest. But that’s like saying a 7-inch dick isn’t quite as good as a 7 1/2 inch dick (here’s the dick metaphors). The story is clearly funny, and adds that Kevin Smith sweetness. This movie holds one of my favorite sex scenes ever, and it doesn’t even involve nudity. Smith just translated everything we were supposed to feel, and what the characters feel, all so well.
If there is ANY downside, it is that this isn’t Smith’s funniest movie. But that’s hardly noticeable. This is a great achievement and great addition to the Kevin Smith Library. I give “Zack and Miri Make A Porno” an 7 out of 10.
