Posts Tagged ‘comedy’

Stephen Lynch at the Newport Yachting Center 6/28/08

June 29, 2008

Last night I saw Stephen Lynch in my HOMETOWN and it was fucking awesome. For the Stephen Lynch impaired, he is the funniest singing comedian ever and you should check out all his shit. The first song I heard of his was Special Olympics, and just from that title you can tell what kind of comedian he is: funny. He also had a couple special guests sing with him. David Josefsburg(i think), whom he met on broadway doing The Wedding Singer (which Stephen said sucked), did some awesome singing and it just added a lot to the show. Also, Jeff Daniels(or someone who looks like him named Rod Cone) added some great singing. (Yes I took this picture).

While waiting for the show to start, I was a little nervous. Because I knew Stephen Lynch hadn’t been on the road too long after doing The Wedding Singer, and I thought he might not have any new material. Well I’m an asshole, this guy had loads of new material and it was just as funny, if not funnier, than his previous material. He has a very unique comedy show that I like. Most comedians get up and tell their prepared jokes, and probably throw in a bit of improv here and there. There are obviously lots of comedians who are fucking hilarious and make a good living doing this. But aside from Stephen Lynch’s songs and intros to the songs, he just talks on the spot and makes really funny jokes. Example for the naysayers: The venue was the Newport Yachting Center(under a tent) and Lynch made plenty of comments on it such as “When I think my crowd, I think Yachts” and “It’s great to be here…in this…fucking circus tent.” Okay so NOT the funniest examples but you get the point. It is so much funnier to just see that.

The new songs were awesome. There was a series of songs that he went back to every so often. The idea was that they were diary entries written, and he turned them into songs. One was someone talking about their family and their day around the house and that they’ll write back later, Signed Anne Frank. Another was about a man riding a horse, and he wrote that it was a wild one and he would tame it the next day and then write back on the progress, Signed Christopher Reeves. It’s FUNNY right? If Stephen reads this he would say ‘STOP KILLING MY JOKES’…so I will.

One of my favorite things he did was when he responded to screaming idiot dudes. He had a song called “Waiting” about waiting for an AIDS test result. I won’t give away the ending of the song, but the line before the end says something like “what did the test say?”. He let it ring, and then some idiot yelled from the back “YOUR FUCKED!”. Stephen replied while giving the finger to the guy “Thanks dick-fuck I think I know how the song ends”. Lynch may be a slightly short man, but I wouldn’t have messed with him after that. Then some other guy kept yelling out song names obnoxiously, so Stephen replied “I’M NOT A FUCKING JUKEBOX”. But then he proceeded with making up a song on the spot about how the guy should make a cardboard cut-out and pretend it’s Stephen and have it play all the songs he wants. I don’t know if those guys counted as hecklers or not, but Lynch knows how to handle ‘em.

So here comes the awesome part…

I had to move my car because the show went on for longer than expected, which was just fine by me, but I was now going to get charged for parking. So I ran a good ten minutes away from the venue to move my car, I got super lucky and found another spot downtown. Then my friend texted me saying “DUDE!” and I KNEW that she was still in the tent and that must have meant that Lynch was coming out again. I RAN AS FAST as I could (and I have asthma) to the tent and ran inside and saw a tiny group of people outside his trailer. He was signing and taking pictures.
This is me asking Stephen Lynch to sign my 30 dollar ticket…now worth millions!


Holy Shit I got to take a picture with Stephen Lynch.

Thanks to Stephen Lynch for one of the best comedy shows ever.

You all need to go out and buy or download his stuff because he gave that permission at the show. He said he is shooting for Christmas time with a new album.

www.stephenlynch.com

Open Mic Adventures – 02/13/08

February 15, 2008

It has been a challenge lately for me to write new songs on the guitar. Then put the songs together and practice them. I just have a lack of places to do so. I finally jumped on that shit because I wanted to play at the open-mic. I was working on a song and it was the day of the open-mic, and i had to scrap the song because it was crap. It was just repetitive and got annoying, and not because I practiced it ten million times, it was just a boring song.

I love when I can say, “damn i wrote a shitty song” and move on. I’m not sure if thats a generally easy thing for a musician/songwriter to do, but hopefully they all do it. Even though I was confident it was going to work, I’m glad I came to the realization that the song sucked and should never be heard by the ears of mortals for they might go deaf.

I was angrily strumming my guitar trying to think what i would play at my open-mic debut, and dug an older song out of the vault. It was a song that I played with my previous band, so the challenge was how can i make it sound good acoustically. I practiced it and a plus was that i was mostly comfortable with the song already, i knew all the words no problem and I knew how to play it. I took a break and went home, then about an hour before leaving for the show I picked up the guitar again just to get it down, and then I made the best modification to the song. I just changed the pre-verse riff from a boring, overused, progression into a brand new thing. Since it was a brand new riff I made sure to play it over and over so i wouldn’t draw a blank when I got on stage.

I showed up at the open-mic and there weren’t too many people there yet. I decided to wait to put my name on the list until the second half. It paid off because more people showed up as it got later. The first bunch of people that got up on stage included a 50 year old blues guy, that told me he got divorced and kicked out of his house, and was sniffing lines of coke. So THAT was cool. I loved a line he used in one of his songs.

The older we get
The better we used to be

That stuck out to me, it is true for the most part. Sure there are plenty of cases in which people get better as they get older, but there’s always a point where you get in your life and then it all goes downhill from there.

I have a friend who was also performing there that night named Andrew. He always does a hilarious stand-up routine based on whatever he was doing recently. I was up right after him, and i decided to tell a story about me and him prior to playing my song.

“Hey guys, i just want to say that Andrew is one of the funniest people I know. And when I was 7 years old i accidentally saw his mom in a bra.”

“HEY it’s not like shes hideous or something!” Andrew yelled from the back.

I came back, “No no, i know. (then in a creepy whisper) It was good”

During the first hour of the show before I played, I was just pumping myself up with energy. I was bouncing around to all the songs, and I was even bobbing up and down to stories/poems/comedy. I think that payed off a lot. You can’t just like get up from sleeping and play a show, it just doesn’t work like that. It was crazy, trying not to sound cocky but I sounded way better than I have ever heard before. Singing wise mostly.

My friend Ian let me borrow his guitar because I couldn’t get my electric-acoustic in time for the show. I also talked about that.

“I want to thank Ian for letting me borrow his guitar for this performance. I couldn’t come up with enough money to get one by today. Apparently not as many people want my body as I thought.”

Did anyone laugh? Well the problem I have is I tend to not remember ANYTHING when I get off stage. I basically just do my thing and some how blackout about the rest. But I asked my supporters(about 2) and they said that there were some laughs. And for whatever reason there was an obscene amount of middle-aged people there, so they probably didn’t appreciate my vulgarity. Especially when Andrew got back up for another routine and I yelled from the back

“I saw his moms tits!”

It was good.

Thank you to everyone that told me “good job”. Even though I was a dick and acted like you were lying. Sometimes I just don’t know how to take a compliment. Thank you.