Posts Tagged ‘kevin smith’

My “Zack and Miri Make A Porno” Review

November 2, 2008

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There are movies that I want to see. There are movies that I anticipate a week or two prior theatrical release. Then there are movies that I hear about from the conception of the idea and wait months, maybe a year, or maybe years until it is released. Such a movie is any Kevin Smith movie. The last one of his that I had the joy of torturing myself with the wait was Clerks 2. And now we have “Zack and Miri Make A Porno”. Not only was I anticipating it because it was a Kevin Smith movie, or it had “porno” in the title, it was also because of Seth Rogen. I have been a Seth Rogen fan from day one of him being on screen with the Apatow bunch. So yeah, “Zack and Miri Make A Porno” was all kinds of goodness.

I’ll get the obvious stuff out of the way. The dialogue penned by Smith is untouchable, hilarious, and downright filthy. Seth Rogen’s presence only adds completely to it. Where Smith’s films shine is all the in between dialogue. If the two characters are on screen discussing a plot point that keeps the story moving, then you are laughing your ass off at all the other stuff they are saying. What is also so amazing is that the story is JUST as great as the in between. Smith doesn’t let his story take the back seat to his jokes, the story is in the front seat going right along with them (random metaphor). Now you may look at the title and say, “Well really, how far can you go with the story that is clearly spelled out in the title”. And I say, “NAY! You ignorant pig!”. If the story was truly spelled out in the title it would be “Zack and Miri Make a Porno, and, In The Process, Realize That It Might Be More Than Just Sex”. The actual title is a lot cooler though.

I was thrilled at the fact that this was a movie outside of the Askewniverse (i.e. Jay and Silent Bob-iverse). I walked out of the film calling it a “new breed” of Kevin Smith films. Then my friend asked me in reply, “Oh it’s not a feel good film like the rest of his others?”. To which I said, “Yes, it is.” So I take it back, it is NOT a new breed. But it is just joining the rest of the breed (another random metaphor?).

The supporting cast he picked up for this was amazing. No doubt was there Jason Mewes, for once NOT playing a stoner with long hair, but playing a horny man with a long penis. Justin Long was hilarious as a male porn star/porn director/porn distributor. And the guy who played his boyfriend was just super, man. Craig Robinson of “The Office” fame was also hilarious as the “producer” of the porno. And there is not enough to say about Elizabeth Banks. I just saw her in “W.”, and now this. She is very talented, very funny, and very hot.

This film is very funny, but even I can admit it is not Smith’s funniest. But that’s like saying a 7-inch dick isn’t quite as good as a 7 1/2 inch dick (here’s the dick metaphors). The story is clearly funny, and adds that Kevin Smith sweetness. This movie holds one of my favorite sex scenes ever, and it doesn’t even involve nudity. Smith just translated everything we were supposed to feel, and what the characters feel, all so well.

If there is ANY downside, it is that this isn’t Smith’s funniest movie. But that’s hardly noticeable. This is a great achievement and great addition to the Kevin Smith Library. I give “Zack and Miri Make A Porno” an 7 out of 10.

The Travel to the Secret Stash

February 20, 2008

When I was a youngling, my family went on quite a few trips. My Dad was the navigation guru, he had visual maps in his head and all he had to do was look at it once. I don’t believe we ever actually left New England but we still saw some stuff. We went to amusement parks and other historical places that I could care less about. I loved the rides. That was the highlight of the trips for me, not even arriving but the actual travel. As I got older that love for being on the road grew more as I got into music. I love traveling and being able to listen to two or three full albums in one shot without stopping. Nothing has changed.I just took another trip, and I haven’t taken one in a long time. This time my brothers, Dad and I went to Red Bank, NJ. What’s in Red Bank you might ask? Well in my last post I wrote a whole lot about Kevin Smith, that was intended to be an introduction to this story but I got way to into it. We were headed towards a little place called Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash.

We estimated that it would take about 4 hours to get there. I was thrilled equally for the ride and the destination, for a change. This trip was different because it was actually something for my interest and not a trip planned by my parents. I prepared for the trip the day before by getting a ton of new music to listen to. Then I headed to a local store and bought a sweet pair of headphones for $180. They were Bose brand and Bose knows that those headphones could have been sold for $100 bucks, but they also know there are people like me who are willing to pay $180 bucks anyway. I got them cheaper then the Bose website sells them for though. Good game Bose, well played.

The next morning came and my Dad said he’d be at the house to pick us up and leave at 9am, so we made sure we were ready by 10am for when he actually would show up. We left at around 10:45am and were on the road about 2 hours. I loved it. I listened to a couple albums on my awesome new Bose headphones. We hit the Cracker Barrel for breakfast…at 1pm. If you haven’t been to a Cracker Barrel I suggest you go there, they make my favorite pancakes. They also have a game that gets played with little golf tees on a wooden triangle, and it basically tells you how stupid you are.

We drove off again after breakfast and stopped at a rest stop with a McDonalds. I just have to make a point of saying that rest stop fast food employees are the most grumpy, depressed people you will ever meet in your life and I highly recommend getting an education to anyone. I understand though, you work at a 24-hour McDonalds rest stop and the only other food in walking distance for your lunch break is the McDonalds rest stop across the highway. I never appreciated my good ol’ neighborhood McDonalds so much.

After about 5 hours and about 200 miles, we arrived at the stash at 4pm. I looked at the outside and the big sign that I’ve been dying to see, and then “FUCK I didn’t bring a camera!”. One of the biggest mistakes of my life. There was a lot of cool displays in there that I could have stood next to. Such as the big sign that says “Brodie’s” that was used in Strike Back, a couple uniforms worn by Jeff Anderson and Rosario Dawson in Clerks II, and a lot of other small things from the different movies.

Fuck, I should have brought a camera.

I guess I never realized before how much the Stash is more of a comic book store than a Kevin Smith movie store. Which now that I know that, I think is really awesome. The store isn’t just a money making scheme by selling View Askew production stuff, it is a really really good comic book store. I don’t read comics, and I can tell that it is way up there as far as comics go. They had tons of action figures, statues, figurines, signs, and EVERYTHING that I would buy if I had the cash. Unfortunately, we hit this place in the dead of winter where I have very little cash to spend and I spent too much anyway, but it was so worth it. Kevin Smith personally signs so much stuff in that store, which is really cool of him.

Here’s the stuff I bought.

Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash

The Bag…It’s awesome right?

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Jay and Silent Bob posters

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Signed Kevin Smith Inaction Figure

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Signed Book

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A shirt with Brodie “Saaaaay…would you like a chocolate covered Pretzel?

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Need I say more?

We were in there for about an hour, my two brothers and I loaded up and then checked out. The guy at the counter was Walt Flanagan. I recognized his voice from one of the Smodcasts but he seemed a little grumpy so I was too afraid to say anything. He was also in most of Smith’s films, mostly as the fanboy who only says “You tell ‘em Steve-Dave”. It was cool to meet someone who is pretty much good friends with Smith, but that and the store was about as close as I’d get to seeing Smith himself.

We pretty much got dinner at a Red Bank Subway and then hit the road back home. Was the trip worth it? Well, a total of 10 hours was on the road and 1 hour spent in the store. It was fuckin’ cool though. My iPod just barely made it the whole average of 10 hours. I listened to a couple Movie Blog Podcasts and a Smodcast on the way back home. Then hit the new music again.

I think if I go there again it will probably be an added destination to another place, because the 10 hour trade for 1 hour was worth it this time, but again it would be slightly inconvenient. If you ever get down in that area and are a Smith fan, or even more so a comic book fan, then you should definitely stop by the store. It’s real easy to get to off of the Garden State Parkway too.

My next goal is to go on another road trip, start small, but actually drive it. The love of the road goes along well with being a musician. What better way to travel than to be on a concert tour at the same time. That would by far be the most rewarding lifestyle for me. Travel for 8 hours listening to music or watching awesome movies, and then hitting the stage to play to about 10 or 12 people. Fuck yes.

Pillow Pants 4 Life

February 20, 2008

When I was 12 years old, my brother put on a movie called Mallrats. I was in no way prepared to see a topless fortune teller with three nipples. It very well could have been my first time seeing nudity in a movie, but I’m not quite sure. It is an interesting way to start though. I saw it because my older brother was watching it in the living room so what choice did I have but to watch it. Then when I was 13 my older brother took me to the movies and he ordered tickets for Rat Race, but when the movie started I realized that we hadn’t walked into the Rat Race theater but into a movie called Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. I loved that fucking movie. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, probably because I never heard any talk like that before. I was hooked right from the first musical number:

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Mother mother fuck. Mother mother fuck fuck. Mother fuck mother fuck.
Noise noise noise.
1 2 1 2 3 4
Noise noise noise.
Smokin weed, smokin weed.
Doin’ coke, drinkin beers.
Drinkin beers, beers beers.
Rollin’ fatties, smokin blunts.
Who smokes the blunts? We smoke the blunts.
Rollin’ blunts and smokin

That was quite possibly the start of my path down indecency and fuck and fart jokes. There’s no better humor to make somebody laugh their ass off and at the same time want to throw up. For a while, I didn’t find out about the man behind this movie who was right in front of my face on the big screen the whole time.

When I was 16 years old was when I started to realize how much I loved movies, and then I started to really appreciate them and see some insanely good films. I went on a rampage and depleted any savings I had from working on DVD’s. I then came across Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back and my reaction was pure fucking joy at finding this movie I saw 3 years ago. There was a shitload of special features and I eventually found out about Kevin Smith through that DVD. I did some research and found out about all his other movies.

I saw the genius in this guy and bought all his movies. All of them are hilarious, and at the same time they have great emotion and heart to tie it all together so it isn’t just some stupid comedy. I’m pretty sure most of us have seen at least one of his movies and there is no denying that these movies are some of the best of our time.

He also does Q and A’s and released two DVD’s of those. You can totally see how he can make these movies when you listen to him talk. This guy can tell stories, I mean he can TELL a fucking story. Being funny as hell is also a plus.

He also does a podcast called Smodcast that features mainly Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier, but once in a while has some guests on. Those are also hilarious. It’s hard to listen to those if I’m in a public place, I end up looking crazy by laughing out loud. The stories between Kevin and whoever he has on are always hilarious. I recommend listening to those.

Okay this post was originally supposed to be about my trip up to Red Bank, NJ to the Secret Stash but I guess I’m going to have to do a whole new post about that.